"civilization"

 (PS the videos i post at the bottom are a kind of soundtrack to the post. Theyre either what kind of inspired the post, or just add a general feel to it. Or sometimes just a song i want more people to hear.)

I was trying to come up with a way to transition into saying this, but I hate people. (Me, whos real life goal is to be a household name, hates the sight of most people. I guess thats why I long to live in a nightclub, DJing where all I see is my computer screen, flashing lights, and I judge my success based upon how wild the crowd sounds.) I hate all types of people. I hate people who use words wrong, or mis-pronounce them. I dont judge people, dont get me wrong everyone is the same in my book. Theyre all met with the same feeling of disgust. Not contempt, or hatred, just general disgust. A few people may slip by, if they seem genuine.

And thats where it really lays. If a person is true to themselves. Culture doesnt exist anymore. Culture is manufactured on TV screens. Every person holds themselves to the standard portrayed by their gender or race thats displayed on TV. 75% of my generation feels like they have to be a certain way. But really thats the way it always is, but this time around its like the standard is this god awful plague upon mankind.

I hate when people look at me. Not like when im ordering food and the waiter is looking at me, but like if im chilling at starbucks, or standing in line, and people walk by and observe me. Every look from a female is one of admiration and lust, meanwhile her boyfriend scowls at my flawless style, height, and my ability to exude confidence. (I purchase all my clothes with the thought of every other purchase in mind. So everything I wear matches everything I own. I can seamlessly cross styles. I'm a Proffesional-modern-hipster-mountain man.) And this isn't just arrogance talking, people always confirm that other people stare at me. And normally this would be taken as a good thing, but deep down it bothers me. It says something about todays culture. I know people are thinking "he looks so good yet so comfortable in being himself." Because I can see it in their eyes, and the way people carry themselves, theyre trying to uphold some image they think they have to be. People arent themselves anymore.

Counter-culture doesnt exist because theres no "culture" to be counter to. There is no real set style, or attitude, but many different forms of it. I could list all day the styles of people, but really its rare for someone to truly be themselves, and even then people automatically look down on them for being different.